Nothing ridiculously fake.

One year since I came here the last time..and I seriously laugh at the address name the moment I saw it.
No I didnt mean its childish but..uhuh.

Things really changed.
I might be more determined now. but not more motivated.
The road might be clearer now. but not easier.
I have to go through all this. I kept murmuring to myself. you'll do it one way or another. Maybe in the end I'll just laugh at all this. just maybe.

If you only knew what I'm experiencing. If I only knew what you're experiencing. But that would have been too good then. too good that it would become a dream. I know that.
I know that and know how to deal with it. But I'm tired babe.
So tired that I cant even think of you. I start to forget how ppl look like. how you speak. how my life went before JC.
ridiculous but true.

Its raining now.
It was violent just then but much more peaceful now. I'd never heard a rain that hit as hard as this before I came to Singapore. so hard as if hitting someone in revenge.
Everything would have become white if its daytime. only the raindrops. nothing else you can see. nothing else in the world. It's grandiose. as if in a maze.
Now it only sounds desolated. sure. no one else's awake now.
And I'm going. to become more normal. to start rushing. so that I can get closer to my dream. well. a dream I havent really define yet. but so what. get to somewhere first. otherwise you'll just get to nowhere.
That's for sure.

Good night babe.